I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
