It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
