Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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