i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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