Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
