If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
