Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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