I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
