I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
