If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
