I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm always down for nudity.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
