why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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