Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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