He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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