did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
