Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
