Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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