Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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