You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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