just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
