Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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