All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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