id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
