It's Friday. Sex?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
