Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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