Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
is that a dick in a sweater?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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