I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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