I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
