Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
this will be a night to untag.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
