First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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