I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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