the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
