idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize