I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
