Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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