I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
