I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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