Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize