I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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