i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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