i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
