you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
