Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize