someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
