mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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