I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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