The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
