Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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