i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
