its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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