i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
