a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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