You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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