I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize