"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
