last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We need to get me chipped asap
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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