ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you traded sex for a burrito?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
