Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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