I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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